Seven Parenting Lapses That Ruined Evans, The Notorious Kidnapper
Since the story of Evans the Billionaire kidnapper hit our headlines, Nigerians have been cursing him and calling for his head.
Typical of me, I took time to read about the guy and pick vital life lessons from his story.
1. From the story told by his wife, I noticed poor parenting from when his father sent his mother packing due to infidelity. I don’t know how true this is but it comes with its own baggage.
His wife also talked about what the step mom did to him. My deductions are simple. There must have been sibling rivalry that made the guy wanted to make it at all cost not even minding going into crime.
I’m not in any way justifying his actions, he is strictly on his own and he will definitely pay for it.
What I want us to learn from this is to give our kids a head start by giving them proper parenting.
2. Evans, according to his wife kept a low profile and kept on moving from place to place. He prayed with his family everyday and tried to present a pious front by reading Psalms 23 everyday.
He wore only one sandal for a long time and never kept late nights when his family was around. Never partied or keep friends.
If you look at the pattern you’ll notice he definitely was hiding from something. If you are dating a man or woman that has a pattern of zero social life, I encourage you to look again. He’s hiding something.
Reading Bible and quoting psalm 23 is not a sign of a good person. Demons can quote Bible.
If you have a neighbor that’s exhibiting this patterns, look well, he may just be a criminal.
3. Evans kept on moving from place to place. We all know it’s difficult to trap a moving target. From Anambra to Benin to Lagos, then Ghana, Dubai, South Africa…….
He came to Lagos with his wife and moved her back to the village to stay with the mom, then he moved her back to Lagos, then Ghana, then Nigeria then South Africa, then Ghana.
He was never stable.
He has two houses in Magodo and two houses in Ghana and none of the houses are on rent. Just keeping the property as safe havens.
Now notice the pattern. If you’re dating a guy that is always on the move, something is definitely wrong. Children need stability to grow.
4. He never allowed his wife to touch his phones. According to his wife, he kept them always switched off. Even when they are on and a call came in, he never answered the call in the presence of his wife.
We all know how women can be snoopy and investigative. I believe the wife must have asked but got threatened by Evans not to go near them.
If you are dating a guy that doesn’t receive calls in your presence, that’s a BIG red flag!
5. She was 17 when Evans married her. Marrying him was an escape route from poverty. Young, naive and poor. Evans must have used all this weaknesses to his advantage.
I believe Evans must have beaten her up several times and she just accepted it because she couldn’t go back to her poverty.
He refused to empower her in anyway so that she will remain dependent on him so he can have maximum control over her.
Notice the pattern, Don’t marry to escape poverty. As parents, don’t give your daughter out in marriage out of poverty. It’s called slave trade.
If a man refuses to empower you, empower yourself. Save some part of your “Chop money” to do something for yourself.
You’re not a baby factory. Empower yourself.
6. Evans said he sometimes sent his wife to pick up ransom money, but the wife denied it. So it’s his word against hers. We don’t know who to believe.
That’s the life of criminals for you. Filled with lies and deception. You just have to listen to what they are not telling you by looking at the background stories.
The wife must have had a hint, but looked the other way.
7. Evan’s mother and siblings also knew what he was into but decided to ignore. There motto must have been: Bring in the money no matter what.
If you have a sibling that is into crime, rat him out. You’re doing yourself and Society a whole lot of good.
These are the 7 lessons I can pick for now. Feel free to add yours.